Satire – The Unused Ideas

In October, I published a series of gaming satire articles. Although I loved writing them, I quickly realised my audience at the time was more interested in standard content (e.g. reviews, etc.) so I returned to that. Despite this, I had already jotted over 70 ideas for future articles, so here they are. They’re split into two sections – specific days (i.e. topical content designed to play off a specific event like a game release or holiday) and any time (e.g. content lampooning video game mechanics that have been around for a while).

Specific Days

22/10: “You Know It’s Fake, Right?”, Super Genius Points Out About WWE 2K Games

25/10: Modern Warfare Returns to Franchise Roots by Being as Clunky and Boring as Call of Duty 1

5/11: UK Officials Say Video Games Cause Violence, Subsequently Celebrate Terrorist Guy Fawkes

8/11: Police Arrest Intoxicated Rambler, Realise it’s Just Hideo Kojima

10/11: “Today’s Kids Wouldn’t Survive in a Modern Warfare 2 Lobby”, Says Man Offended by Rainbow Flags

11/11: YouTuber Holds a Ten Minutes and One Second Silence

15/11: Sony Celebrate Anniversary of “the Only Video Game System We’ve Released this Decade”

22/11: Xbox Celebrate Anniversary by Announcing Their First Exclusive Game Since 2013

01/12: Player Has Maximum Mana After Competing in No Nut November

17/12: Absolutely Nothing of Note Happened on this Day in Sony History, Claim Sony

Any Time

YouTuber is Shocked by [insert literally anything here]

12 Year Old Insists He Likes Female Streamer for Her Personality

Dying Hair Increases Voice Volume by 50%, Scientists Prove 

Loud Vlogger Discovers They’re Not the Only Person in Public Area

YouTuber Releases Three Hour Video Essay That’s Positive

Nintendo Announces First Original IP Since 1985

“Exclusives Don’t Matter”, Says Gamer who Prefers Nintendo Because of Mario and Zelda

YouTuber Will Pay Attention to Partner if They Get 10,000 Likes

YouTuber Makes Apology Video After Accidentally Nudging Someone

YouTuber Unable to Talk Unless He Plays Dubstep for 15 Seconds First

Redditor Posts Thought Without Saying It’s An Unpopular Opinion

PlayStation 4 Developers Shocked Some Games Have Gameplay Between Cutscenes

Man Comments on YouTube video for First Time, Immediately Loses Ability to Talk Properly

PS4 Developers Baffled by New Game That’s Less Than 100GB

Nintendo Insist They’re “Not Like Other Gamers”

YouTuber Discovers You Can Turn Caps Lock Off

YouTuber Discovers Other People Aren’t Excited 24/7

Video Essayist Goes 2 Minutes Without Making Forced Joke

Man Considers Photography Career After Taking Decent Photo of his Video Game Collection

Bilingual Let’s Player Still Doesn’t Understand the Word “Editing”

Research Suggests Most YouTubers Actually aren’t “Ya Boy”

Male Feminist Pans Video Game for Lack of Lesbian Scenes, is Fine with Armour that Only Covers 10% of the Character Model

Female Cosplayer’s Barney Outfit Not Praised as Much, for Some Reason

Rumour: There Exists a Gaming YouTuber without a Cartoon Profile Picture

Parent Completes Racing Game without Rotating the Controller

Actor Explains How He’s Able to Play Games when the Controller’s Off

SEGA Become a Sports Game Studio After Realising They Release the Same Game Every Year Anyway

REDDIT DRAMA: Redditor Admits He Kinda Likes Call of Duty

Gamer Doesn’t Mind Transgender Characters “as Long as They’re not in my Games or KKK Meetings”

Content Creator’s Career Ended After Old Tweet Panning The Witcher 3 is Found

Movie Director Learns Video Games are More than Just Racers and Shooters

Fan Pans Video Game Composer for Going Mainstream

Man Adamant Listening to Video Game Soundtracks Counts as a Hobby

Speedrunner Not So Good at Running from Life Problems

Sony Take Control of America, Immediately Drop Support for Latinos That Use the Word “Vita”

Interviewer Brings Up Spyro’s Rough Past, Spyro Storms Off Set 

Metal Gear Solid 4 Cutscene Expected to End by 2023

Modder Gives Himself Unlimited Potions, Still Doesn’t Use Them

Podcast Host and Streamer Compete for “Longest Time Between Something Interesting Happening” Award

NPC Shopkeeper Goes out of Business After Always Selling Goods to Just One Customer

Economists Ditch Bitcoin, Trade in Habbo Hotel Credits Instead

Shadow the Hedgehog “Cancelled” After Edgy Quips from 2005 Resurface

Atheist Shocked You Can Keep Playing a Game After Game Over Screen

Priest Only Interested in Games with Teen Rating

Hollywood Discovers Video Games Have Advanced Past 8-Bit Graphics

Man Buys 1000TB Hard Drive for PS4, Still Needs to Delete Stuff to Download 5MB Update

Report: 90% of Japanese Breast Enhancement Surgeries are on Cartoon Schoolgirls

Solid Snake Found Dead After Bases Hire Guards That Don’t Suffer from Short Term Memory Loss

Mario Arrested for Illegal Street Racing

Mario Kart Track “Rainbow Road” Criticised for Being Too Political

This Man Can Heal Bullet Wounds by Eating Bread, Doctors HATE Him

Man Buys $150 Collector’s Edition for Statue He’ll Look at Once Every Five Years

Developer Creates RPG Protagonist Whose Name isn’t Just a Series of Vowels and Apostrophes

Female Anime Character Keeps Clothes on for Entire Game

Anime Girls 50% More Likely to Fall Over than Regular Girls, Science Proves

[Celebrity] Breakup Devastates [bad celebrity tie in game] Speedrunning Community

Mother Journeys to Video Game Server Room to Pause Online Game

Mother Plays Online Game, Shocked to Meet All Her Past Lovers

Number of Video Game Journalists Down to 0 After the Word “Feel” is Banned

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